note to my friends

If I am upset then find out if I am reading any fiction and if so, what. That will probably answer everything.

that little death that you die

he asks if
the passion is worth it
yes, oh yes
at times it rises
engulfs it all
removes the windows and doors
and walls of the soul
a glimpse of the knowledge
of the entire universe is possible
no, not possible,
it is there
you are this infinite thing
no lines blurring anything
even the retreat from this state
is ecstatic in itself
waves of the all gently recede
carry you back to the now

what has been making me dance this week

Funkadelic

One Nation Under a Groove
"Here's my chance to dance my way
Out of my constrictions"

and

Freak of the Week
"Don't give her that one move groovalistic,
That disco sadistic,
That one beat up and down it just won't do.
Don't give her that forever and ever foreplay,
She's not looking for the short way,
She's got to reach a point where she gets off."

spin on the turntable the most

now I remember him singing to me

he says

it is but it also isn't

to make a big deal of it
is absurd

It has been an interesting week, hasn’t it.

At least two people want me in some way.
My friend asked me to go into business with her
and an old lover called and asked me to take over a town with him.

(didn't almost) cut my hair

why I want

Byronic, anti
doesn’t much matter
I need to know

distance on the plains

driving across Kansas
middle of the night
went to sleep after watching the large storm
light up the sky for hundreds of miles

woke up
it was still going

both a celebration and an indictment of that behavior

I filled a paper boat with words
launched it in this small mountain river.

Maybe water is stronger than air.

beef jerky man

he approaches us at the bus stop
we do not want beef jerky
he asks what we are doing,
kind of mocks us for taking the bus
we promise to wave on our way past him
and we do - leaning out the window smiling

next day we all ride the bus together
he acknowledges we were right on, man,
bets we know the name of the 8 o'clock band
and we do - we have bonded, he says, grinning

yes it is

it is a matter of celebrating each other

the strings reach up

their frequency is preventing
the ice from re-forming

the thing is

you can't see it coming

Ricky Skaggs plays

(I remind myself:

receive life
receive )



I cannot help but dance.
Joyously.
By myself.




it does seem that something has melted
after all that lock is gone
(what a surprise)







superfreak indeed

this is it

we are closest to the sun
right this very moment
I stand facing it
arms open

Tim O'Brien says

"If you don't have fun then it's your own damned fault."

Peter Rowan sings

"sailing on the river of time"

song writing workshop notes

That little thing drawing you forward
that is inspiration to me.


If you knew what you wanted to say then you wouldn't need to write about it.


(We are waiting to outgrow ourselves.)


I walk a crooked road.

I'm trying to get to new things.
(knew things, I wonder)


If the structure is getting in the way then forget about it.

Ani sings

"I look up to see integrity finally win over desire."

"She's trying to evolve.
I'm trying to evolve."

"I know there is strength in the differences between us."

Bach on a mandolin

we cannot help but stand still

she says

"This is why I work."

We are sitting in a box canyon.

I smile, consider, and say
"This is why I do not work."

Arlo Guthrie says that Marilyn Monroe said

Ever notice that 'what the hell' is always the right decision?

sitting on a bench under a street light

he stops, says I look more like a typical festival goer
than most he's seen - no dread locks
(my bigfoot t-shirt and the long underwear under my shorts
don't seem to work against me)

somehow Twain comes up
when this happens, he asks permission to sit down next to me
we list all of the books we've read
passionately recommend, marvel
he tells me I am the only person he's ever met
who has read "Life on the Mississippi"
and I tell him this is sad

he tells me a story about the Missouri in Omaha
how he accidentally swam it one day

the third of five more postcards

3. arrival

My bearings are provided
by the moon and the man
who jumped off the mountain.

our temporary town

We talk to each other about our star.

after swimming I read 'Jane Eyre'

“By degrees, he acquired a certain influence over me that took away my liberty of mind; his praise and notice were more restraining than his indifference.”

morning on the road

morning

Sunday morning

Sat down to make a list of things to do and ended up making an origami boat instead.

Noticed a caterpillar on my knee.

a few thoughts from yesterday

(transcripts of several audio postcards)

yeah, I was healed by Sun Ra. seriously.

how I knew I wasn't nervous to go:
my menses didn't change (and that's big)

the name of my dinner tonight, Lebanese Delight,
is the name, I imagine, of some exotic sex toy

we escaped

we escaped the rain and wind
to sit in a booth in a corner
watching it pour

why you should never use those guest soaps

Sure, they're pretty and everything. And if you use them then you don't have to buy soap for a time while also cleaning out your cupboards. But they aren't always good - no lather or sandy consistency. And, if you are me, one of them can lead to a small crisis of faith.

cars and men

I should not -can not- have a sports car
I love to drive fast (perhaps on the edge of reckless)
around curvy roads, up and down hills, shifting gears

I know I'd crash and burn

it dawned on me this morning
that the same holds true for me and some men
for roughly the same reasons

sorry I didn't answer the phone

but my boobs got me stuck in a dress
in a changing room at the Goodwill

a city might not be too bad but it doesn't know my name

while the new ever smiling round library clerk knows my name
and pulls out my reserves the moment I walk in the door,
I learned today that she does not know what wi-fi means
it led to an awkward moment where I had to explain
something about her job and how to help me
but, there were two enormous vases of
the most beautiful peony blooms on the counter
and it didn't matter that I stood for a long time
with my face buried in them breathing deeply and
softly moaning with pleasure

Why paying attention to the sun matters to me.

We must have learned it in Norway.

Maybe I am part plant. No, just animal. The sun matters to the animals too. (remember what you learned from the cats)

I am trying to take a conscious look at my place on this very small part in this very large universe.

my wardrobe's current limitation

Some time last month (taking one of a series of self-portraits) and again today (dressing to go to a meeting at the bank) it dawned on me that I often dress like a Mennonite. Especially when I want to dress up a little. I think that it is because of the surrounding communities and their thrift shops. Never would have realized this but for the very different type of thing (those hot-pink spike heeled boots come to mind) that I've been buying since I expanded my horizons.

phone conversations with my friends

My friend in a small town invariably sings during our conversations. This has been going on for years but I am just starting to appreciate it.

I realize that I am known by the two others who from time to time will read me poetry or ask me to read.